After the Delhi gang rape, the youth of our nation
decided to speak up and take a stand for rape victims all over the world. Rape
survival stories, molestation, humiliation and sexual harassment cases were
brought to media’s attention. Fingers were pointed at the government; safety
and prevention measures debated and suggested by many.
All were for the protection of women all over the
country. What about the men?
Men are immediately considered as the evils of
society when it comes to sexual harassment. Women now come forward and confess
their dark pasts and fears to their family, friends, and even media. They get
the attention and support they need from peers and family if not the officials.
But male victims still hesitate to share their horror stories.
If the women can take a step, why can’t they? The
issue is more severe than we think.
Laws are still weak and measures still haven’t been
taken for the security and safety women, but there is still support from people
around the world. The country stands united for women and their safety. Women
are blamed for their clothing, their limits, provocation and other myths that
our patriarchal society believes in. But in the end, people gather to protest
against the wrong being done to women. Where does it leave the men?
At ages that make you cringe, young boys have been
molested by uncles, cousins, fathers and brothers. Young boys also get sexually
harassed by bullies in their schools and neighborhood. Most of them are
threatened to be beaten, humiliated and further assaulted if they plan to ask
anyone for help. The disbelief and shame makes these victims to live in denial
or suppress their emotions. Seeking help seems like a more difficult option
than living with burden.
We all have seen, heard and read about the horror
stories in campus dorms and hostels. In the “fun” of bullying, boys are forced
to perform various activities that are physically and emotionally scarring.
Many of the boys either commit suicide or go into depression, but rarely does
someone take a step to report the crime. It all comes to fear and humiliation.
Some of the victims refuse to admit what has been
done to them and live in constant denial. Some fear the treatment they’d be
given by the others if they asked for help. Homosexuals and bisexuals are still
mistreated and sneered at by not only the police and other officials, but by
society. Some victims even start questioning their own sexuality. They start
resenting their “helplessness”. Many start doubting their physical and
emotional stability compared to the stereotypical “manly male”, one who
apparently cannot be harmed and can take care of himself and his loved ones.
Such psychological barriers are not irrational or a
result of paranoia. This hesitation is brought upon by various influential
social factors that one would face on a daily basis. Media, family, friends,
educational institutions, religion, and societal norms and traditions are
examples of the influential elements on a growing child’s psychology.
The lack of acceptance by our own people in this era
can easily break a physically and emotionally wounded man’s trust and
expectations. This vulnerability and strand of weakness is what sexual
offenders feed on. This also holds back the courage of the ones who need all
the help they can get.
We demand gender equality in every aspect that is
essential to us. Why not personal safety? Even men should be provided with
mediums to communicate their fears and scarring experiences. Male victims
should also be treated the way a female victim would expect to be; with
sensitivity and acceptance.
Instead of considering women as the weaker sex, it
should be understood that rape is an offense that has nothing to do with
gender. Statutory or not, rape can affect both males and females. The trials
should not be based on the victims’ gender, but the crime that was done. Laws
are made to give justice, not to be biased.
Our country demands justice and safety; let’s not
keep it limited to half the people.
Ambika Chauhan
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